32 Ways to Annoy Other People 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking with others. 4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 6. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what YOU think." 7. Practice making fax and modem noises. 8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific magazines and send them to your boss. 9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 10. Finish all your sentences with the words "..in accordance with prophesy." 11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 12. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room." 13. Holler out random numbers when someone is counting. 14. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it like that." 15. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 16. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise. 17. Honk and wave to strangers. 18. Decline to be seated in a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 19. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. 20. type only in lower case. 21. dont use any punctuation either 22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 25. Try playing the William Tell overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 26. Ask people what gender they are. 27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head around like a parakeet. 28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 29. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 30. As your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about psychological profiles. 31. Sing along at an opera. 32. Hop around the room on one foot reciting, "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the candlestick." Do it again. JAC - 2002 |